Thursday, June 29, 2006

Scott Taylor Is the 2006 DAN/Rolex Diver of the Year

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

From Divers Alert Network • 28 June 2006

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scott Taylor, co-owner of A-1 Scuba and Travel Center in Denver, Colo., has been named the 2006 DAN/Rolex Diver of the Year. Dan Orr, DAN president and CEO, presented the award at the DAN Divers Day event held June 17 at Denver’s Downtown Aquarium.

The DAN/Rolex Diver of the Year Award is given each year to a person who has contributed significantly to diving safety or the mission of Divers Alert Network, either regionally or nationally. The award committee is made up of previous award winners, a representative of DAN and one from Rolex USA Inc.

Taylor was recognized for his enthusiasm, support and work for the safety of recreational diving. Inspired by Lloyd Bridges as scuba diving investigator Mike Nelson in the television series “Sea Hunt” and French naval officer, explorer, ecologist, filmmaker and researcher Jacques Cousteau, Taylor became a scuba diver in 1969. Taylor embraced diving, eventually becoming a PADI Course Director, DAN Instructor Trainer and one of the first Instructor Trainers to be certified by the Handicapped Scuba Association (HSA).

In 1991, as a DAN Instructor Trainer, he began teaching the instructors and certified assistants at A-1 Scuba and Travel Center and at many of the PADI and SSI stores in Colorado. He took the program on trips and trained the dive crews on the Turks and Caicos Aggressor, Cayman Aggressor, Peter Hughes’ Wave Dancer, Anthony’s Key Resort and Dive Paradise in Cozumel.

One of the best compliments he ever received came from the owner of Dive Paradise, Renée "Apple" Applegate, who said, “Scott, you’ve cost me a lot of money!” She explained she had just purchased DAN Oxygen Units for all 13 of her boats.

Taylor joined other Colorado dive store owners in forming the Colorado Scuba Retailers Association in the mid-1990s, a group of full retail dive centers offering a variety of dive travel and other services for the diver or snorkeler. The CSRA developed the Colorado Scuba ExtaSea Expo.

In the 1970s, Taylor graduated from the University of Colorado Medical Center with a degree in physical therapy. While working at the spinal cord/head injury center at Craig Hospital in Denver, he began assisting with scuba classes. “It was awesome,” he said. “Suddenly people confined to a wheelchair could be independent for a period of time. I quickly discovered that water is a great equalizer that allows the physically challenged to escape their crutches, wheelchairs and prosthetic devices. I continue teaching the physically challenged to this day.”

Every six weeks, four patients from the hospital visit A-1 Scuba and try scuba. For many, it is their first time out of the hospital since their injury. Taylor also volunteers each summer at the Colorado Easter Seals Camp, introducing children with muscular dystrophy to scuba diving. “It’s a blast for the kids and for me,” Taylor said.

Taylor received a plaque and a personally engraved Rolex Submariner Dive Watch.

By Eileen Sahlin, DAN Chief Development Officer

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Hyperbaric/Diving Medical Chamber Treatment Program

Dick Rutkowski announces a hyperbaric/diving medical chamber treatment program for all medical and chamber operators in November 20-24, 2006. This is to be held in Liberia, Costa Rica and the program will be in Spanish and English thru translation. There will be 40 hours accreted for cme's and ceu's for all medical and chamber operators.

For more information contact Dick Rutkowski
dick@hyperbaricsinterational.com

Hyperbarics International, Inc.
http://hyperbaricsinternational.com

Tropical Fish Collectors Find Life at 200 Feet

In the Miami Herald for 6/24/2006 there is an article that is interesting from several points of view. In describing another commercial diving modality there is the casual remark that "Before jumping in, they (the divers)took extract of prickly pear cactus pills to ward off decompression sickness."

Extract from the skin of prickly pear fruit, called OFI, had previously been shown to dampen inflammatory response. A study was reported a couple of years ago in the Archives of Internal Medicine (vol 164, p 1334)that showed a remarkable reduction in hangovers after a night of partying.

The morning after the parties, those given OFI were nursing less severe hangovers than those given placebo. In particular, it slashed the risk of a severe hangover by half.

The researchers also measured levels of a protein produced by the liver, called C-reactive protein, which is thought to be involved in the inflammation process.

The higher the levels, the worse the hangover, they found. This is the first study to show this, the team believes. Levels of this protein were also 40 per cent higher in the people who took placebo pills compared with those who took the OFI.

The researchers therefore believe that OFI eases hangovers by soothing the inflammatory response to alcohol.

I had the following information in my Ten Foot Stop Newsletter for June 30, 2004.

"Hangover cure = Heat stress proteins = Decompression injury protection?There is a flutter in the media about a study in the Archives of Medicine on 'Hangover Prevention Formula' [HPF]. It appears that an extract of the fruit of the prickly pear has been shown to decrease the effects of hangovers in a study reported by Jeff Wiese, MD, at Tulane University. HPF contains Tex-OE™, a patented, all-natural extract derived from the fruit of the Prickly Pear Cactus (Opuntia ficus indica), and has it's effect through the elevation of protective heat shock proteins. The reason that this should be interesting to divers is that it was reported to be protective for decompression injury in divers in 1998 at the EUBS meeting.http://www.daneurope.org/eng/hsp.pdf

Diving causes a rise in the level of HSP and early high levels of HSP are induced following pre-dive ingestion of TEX-OE. Reported at the EUBS Meeting by Cali-Corleo, et al in their Collection of Manuscripts; pages 20-33. Similar findings reported by the same group at the BHA Annual meeting, 1998.

It would be interesting to see the results of a good study indicating benefits from taking this substance in divers.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Venous Air Embolism



Dr. Omar Sanchez sends us this from Argentina:

About Venous Air Embolism...

Available at The New England Journal of Medicine -
Volume 354:e26 June 22, 2006 Number 25

Venous Air Embolism
A. Cuvelier and J.-F. Muir
Extract | FREE Full Text |

From Buenos Aires, Omar Sanchez, Wetdoc.


An 82-year-old man was transferred to our hospital for the treatment of respiratory distress after computed tomography (CT) of the thorax. He had undergone a follow-up evaluation seven years after a lower left lobectomy for bronchial carcinoma. At the end of the examination, when the patient got down from the examining table, he had acute dyspnea, weakness of the arms and legs, and dizziness. He did not lose consciousness. The CT demonstrated a large amount of air in the left subclavian vein (Panel A, arrowheads), the superior vena cava, the right ventricle (Panel B, arrowheads), and the pulmonary-artery trunk (Panel C, arrowheads). The patient was immediately placed in the left lateral and Trendelenburg's position while breathing 100 percent oxygen and was transferred. At admission, the patient's clinical status improved quickly and he recovered without any sequelae.
Ninety milliliters of air had been injected in error instead of contrast solution because the injector had been repositioned but the disposable syringe had not been replaced with a new syringe. This incident emphasizes the need to ensure the safety of injector devices and intravascular catheters to prevent the injection of air.

Friday, June 23, 2006

PADI Chamber Endowment Fund

For Immediate Release Contact: Theresa Gulledge
PADI Americas
+1 949 858 7234, ext. 2322
theresa.gulledge@padi.com


PADI Chamber Endowment Fund Accepting Grant Requests

More than $30,000US is available to support hyperbaric chambers worldwide.

Rancho Santa Margarita, CA – 23 June 2006 – The PADI Chamber Endowment Fund, which was established in 2004 to benefit recreational dive communities, is currently accepting requests for grants in support of hyperbaric chambers worldwide. This year, more than $30,000US is available to qualified applicants and no reasonable proposal will be overlooked within the funding available and the number of requests received.

The PADI Chamber Endowment Fund provides funding for projects including, but not limited to:
Staff training and certification
General chamber maintenance costs
Equipment costs
New chamber construction

PADI’s Chamber Endowment Fund is supported by a $2 donation from every enrollment in the PADI-endorsed Diver Protection Program - a comprehensive dive accident insurance program administered by Vicencia and Buckley. The Diver Protection Program is available to all divers globally and accepted by all institutions worldwide.

Previous Fund beneficiaries include: the Utila Hyperbaric Chamber & Trauma Center, Utila Honduras; Orkney Hyperbaric Trust, Orkney; Scotland; University of Hawaii at Manoa; Pacific Grove Hyperbaric Chamber Facility; Pacific Grove CA, and the National Hyperbaric Center; Dublin, Ireland. Donations ranged from $1,000 to $2,500 per recipient.

For more information on the PADI Chamber Endowment Fund, for application procedures, or to apply for funding, please email chamberfund@padi.com, or phone 800 729 7234 (US and Canada) ext.2368, or +1 949 858 7234 ext.2368. All applications are due no later than 14 August 2006.

PADI, the Professional Association of Diving Instructors, is the world's largest recreational diving organization, with more than 5300 dive centers and resorts and 130,000 dive professionals worldwide. For 40 years, PADI has set the standard for quality, fun and excellence in diver education. More divers participate in PADI programs than any other; making a PADI certification the most recognized and respected in the world.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Teen Injured After Sucking In Divers Carbon Dioxide

A TV news report makes it unclear as to the cause of a swimmer's injury in Volusia County Florida. The injured 17 year old is said to have coughed blood upon surfacing and when taken to the hospital - treated in the hyperbaric chamber. A short report and video can be seen at this web site:
http://snipurl.com/rx3c

CO2 poisoning would certainly be a possibility but coughing up blood is not a symptom of CO2 poisoning.

Pockets of air in a cave chamber can accumulate from expired compressed air from scuba divers, among other causes. This air can contain less oxygen and more CO2 than ambient air - and can have insufficient O2 for oxygenation. More likely what happened is that the swimmer gave out of air, found a pocket of air at depth and then surfaced holding his breath, thereby sustaining pulmonary barotrauma with gas embolism. The process occurs in as little as four feet of water and can be deadly.

Addendum: Rik Rosken, one of our long time readers writes to say that the article also got his attention. " I also personally contacted the reporter and this seem to be a case of AGE due lung overpressure due breath-holding after breathing compressed
air at depth from the air pocket."

==================================================================================
See also:
http://www.scuba-doc.com/pulbt.html
http://www.scuba-doc.com/risksPBT.html

Testing Cave Air Quality
http://thelances.org/hr3/badair.html

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Technical Director and Nurse Supervisor, The Mayo Clinic Section of Aerospace Medicine in Rochester , Minn



Technical Director and Nurse Supervisor

The Mayo Clinic Section of Aerospace Medicine in Rochester , Minn. , will open a hyperbaric and altitude medicine program in Fall 2007 to provide hyperbaric oxygen therapy for patients and clinical research. The facility will include hypobaric capability to conduct altitude physiology and applied research for aerospace technology.

We are currently seeking a Technical Director and Nurse Supervisor for this new and exciting initiative.

The chamber will be a multiplace, triple lock 3/6 ATA rectangular system with two treatment compartments each accommodating 12 patients. It is being built by Fink Engineering of Cheltenham, Victoria, Australia. Medical Multiplex, Inc., of Louisville , Ky. , has been enlisted to consult on operational planning and training.

Mayo Clinic, one of Fortune magazine’s “100 Best Companies to Work For,” offers an excellent salary and benefits package. To learn more about Mayo Clinic and Rochester , MN , visit www.mayoclinic.org. For additional information regarding these opportunities, please contact:

Paul L. Claus, M.D., Medical Director

Mayo Clinic Hyperbaric & Altitude Medicine Program

Phone: 507-266-4602

Fax: 507-266-0909

Email: claus@mayo.edu

Dr. Claus will be attending both the Hyperbaric Medicine 2006 Symposium ( March 23-25, 2006 ) in Columbia , South Carolina and the 2006 Annual UHMS Scientific meeting ( June 22-24, 2006 ) in Orlando Florida . Interested individuals attending those meetings may be reached through Medical Multiplex, Inc. representatives at their booth.

Mayo Clinic is an affirmative action and equal opportunity employer.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

International Society of Aquatic Medicine is having the 14th Annual Summer Meeting in St Lucia



Bridget Thomas, RN, Executive Secretary of ISAM informs us that ISAM is having the 14th Annual Summer Meeting in St Lucia. More information can be obtained by clicking here.

Bridget K. Thomas, RN, MSN
International Society of Aquatic Medicine
Executive Secretary
6240 Turtle Hall Dr
Wilmington, NC 28409
Women Divers Hall of Fame Class of 2001
Telephone 910 452 1452
Fax 910 799 5209
ISAM International Society of Aquatic Medicine

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Scuba Scouts

In the St. Petersburg Neighborhood Times there is an excellent article about Scuba Scouts.

"Young salts study a vast blue world

Scuba Scouts, students 11 to 18, immerse themselves in science, rescue and exploration, not just fish gazing.

By JENNIFER DUPONT
Published May 10, 2006"

Performance of Infusion Pumps in Hyperbaric Conditions

Performance of Infusion Pumps in Hyperbaric Conditions


Abstract [Full Text]

Background: Many hyperbaric facilities use infusion pumps inside the chamber. It is therefore important to ensure that this equipment will perform accurately during hyperbaric conditions. The authors tested the function and accuracy of the Imed 965 and Infutec 520 volumetric infusion pumps, the Easy-pump MZ-257 peristaltic infusion pump, and the Graseby 3100 syringe pump.

Methods: The authors calculated the deviations of infused volumes at low and high rates (12-18 and 60-100 ml/h) on three different hyperbaric protocols (up to 2.5, 2.8, and 6 atmospheres absolute [ATA]), resembling a standard hyperbaric oxygen treatment and US Navy treatment tables used for decompression illness and for arterial gas embolism. Two examples of each pump model were examined in every experiment.

Results: The Easy-pump MZ-257 failed to function completely beyond a chamber pressure of 1.4 ATA, making it unsuitable for use inside the hyperbaric chamber. The Graseby 3100 failed to respond to all keyboard functions at 2.5-2.8 ATA, making it unsuitable for use in most hyperbaric treatments. The Imed 965 performed within an acceptable volume deviation (≤10%) during most hyperbaric conditions. During the compression phase of the profiles used, and for the low infusion rates only, exceptional volume deviations of 20-40% were monitored. The Infutec 520 demonstrated an acceptable deviation (within 10%) throughout all the hyperbaric profiles used, unaffected by changes in ambient pressure or infusion rate.

Conclusions: Commercially available infusion pumps operating during hyperbaric conditions demonstrate substantial variations in performance and accuracy. It is therefore important that the hyperbaric facility staff make a careful examination of such instruments to anticipate possible deviations in the accuracy of the equipment during use.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

PACIFIC CHAPTER UHMS Annual Conference

Pacific Chapter of the Undersea & Hyperbaric Medical Society

32nd Annual Conference

15 & 16 September 2006

________________________________

General Information
Call for Paper

Registration: Online

Word
PDF

________________________________

GENERAL INFORMATION:

TIME: Friday 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

Saturday 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

LOCATION: Waterfront Plaza Hotel

10 Washington Street

Oakland , California 94607

(800) 729-3638

TOPICS:

Friday: This session should be of interest to the medical professional
(technologist, nurse and physician). The hyperbaric medicine scientific
symposium will provide an update about current medical knowledge,
mechanisms of action and clinical applications. Presentations will
include new research topics and reviews of clinical hyperbaric medicine.
Continuing education credits are available.

Saturday: Presentations during this session should be of interest to the
recreational diving community, and members of commercial and scientific
diving organizations. Topics will include fitness to dive, mixed gas
diving, cold water diving, recognition and treatment of dysbaric
disorders, and other relevant information.

Continuing education credits are available for both days.

For more information:

Go to: www.pacificuhms.org

E-mail: pacificuhms2006@yahoo.com

________________________________

Call for papers:

32nd Pacific Chapter Meeting of UHMS

Location: Jack London Square , Oakland , California

The UHMS Pacific Chapter is calling for papers for presentations on
Friday, September 15 AND 16, 2006.

Friday's topics should include new research presentations and review in
both diving and clinical hyperbaric medicine. Topics should be of
interest to all types of professionals in the fields of hyperbaric
medicine and complicated non-healing wounds.

Saturday's topics should include presentations that will be of interest
to medical and hyperbaric professionals, as well as, recreational,
commercial and scientific divers.

Please send abstracts to Lorre T. Henderson at closehauler@yahoo.com
or fax to (707) 432-2666 , or mail to
Lorre T. Henderson, 301 Seacliff Way , Point Richmond , CA 94801 .
Abstracts must be received by June 30, 2006 .

Authors will be notified of acceptance of presentations by July 31, 2006

Completed written presentations must be received by August 15, 2006 to
be included in the program book. This date will also allow the Pacific
Chapter to assure CME credits for all levels of participants.

Presentation format can only be in Power Point format. Please send your
presentation on a CD or e-mail.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Upcoming DAN Events



Denver Divers Day - Safer Diving Through Education with DAN

Date: 6/17/06
Location of Event: The Downtown Aquarium
700 Water Street
Denver, Colorado
Phone: +1-919-684-2948
Fax: +1-919-493-3456
Email: cduryea@dan.duke.edu

A Representative From DAN Will Be Attending This Event


Calling all divers, recreational divers, dive professionals, healthcare professionals and others in the Denver, Colo., area!

DAN will conduct Denver Divers Day, a special event just for divers, on June 17 at the Downtown Aquarium on Water Street. The program is entitled “Safer Diving Through Education with DAN.”

Contact DAN Continuing Medical Education (CME), 6 W. Colony Place, Durham, NC 27705, or use the contact information above. Toll-free: 1-800-446-2671 ext. 609 or 610.

See attached course description. (Requires Adobe Acrobat Reader)
=================================================================================

DAN 57th Diving & Hyperbaric Medicine Course

Dates: 8/3/06-8/5/06
Location of Event: Searle Center, Duke University Medical Center
Durham, North Carolina
Contact: Cindy Duryea or Cindi Easterling
Phone: 1-800-446-2671 x609 or 610
Email: cduryea@dan.duke.edu
Website: www.diversalertnetwork.org/
A Representative From DAN Will Be Attending This Event

For an easy-to-use copy of the registration form, click here.

To check out the course offerings see the accompanying brochure.

Download the brochure. (Requires Adobe Acrobat Reader)

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Diving Medicine Book for Instructors published at Best Publishing



ASSESSMENT OF DIVING MEDICAL FITNESS FOR SCUBA DIVERS AND INSTRUCTORS
Peter B. Bennett, Frans J. Cronje, Ernest S. Campbell


Book Detail & Ordering

Price: $29.95

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Table of Contents

THE ROLE OF THE INSTRUCTOR IN EVALUATING DIVING FITNESS
-Pressure and the Body
-Gasses and Decompression
-Risk of Incapacitation and loss of Consciousness
-Dynamic Diving Fitness-Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
-Psychological Aspects of Diving


DIVING FITNESS: THE DIVERS RESPONSIBILITIES
-Health Maintenance
-Diving Nuisances


COMMON AND IMPORTANT MEDICAL CONDITIONS AND DISORDERS WITH AN IMPACT ON DIVING
-Blood
-Cardiovascular
-Dermatological
-Gastrointestinal
-Genito-urinary
-Head, Eyes, Ears, Nose and Throat
-Immunological
-Musculo-skeletal Conditions
-Neurological, Psychological and Psychiatric
-Respiratory
-Other


REFERENCES

ACRONYMS

INDEX

Although this book was written primarily for the scuba diving instructor, learning scuba divers [all of us?] will benefit from the understandable and easy to read approach to diving medical problems.

You are encouraged to add this book to your desktop for frequent reference and as a teaching source for your students.

June Humor

Why we split up


She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.

Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.

And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her.

She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the beer was for.

I don't think she's coming back.

==================================================================================

The Ultimate Irish Joke

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand pace." He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, "Fook dat. Dis budgie Jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!"

THERE'S MORE...

Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"Hi, Paddy, watch dis," Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!"

IT IS NOT OVER YET...

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head. "Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting...and now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!"

===================================================================================

Airline cabin announcements

A real announcement on my flight this week from Atlanta to Orlando. The flight attendant said,
“Everyone please take all their personal belongings with them, or you can find them on ebay tomorrow.”

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.

4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because! , after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight.. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressu! re, mask s will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airwa ys."

20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

21. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine."

=================================================================================
No Sermon Today

There was a church that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, (if you eat them they make you pucker, because they are so sour) and rub them on your breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said:

"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not have a
thermon tewday but I can whisthle you a little tune."


===================================================================================
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie. They went to see "Closed for the Winter”.
***************

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power failure, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was Covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all! the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman hadinstructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
****************

A blonde went to an Optician to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which, that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunchbag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letter. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
****************

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keepssome things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".
***************

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?
******************

This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around. This should make all you technologically challenged people feel GOOD:

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.

Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"

Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

=================================================================================
"I SPEAK BLONDE"

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON, AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON, AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON."

================================================================================

Thought for the Day

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, start out dead and get it out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your firstday. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and finally you finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.

===================================================================================
A Jewish mother

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in
love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma,
I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm
going to marry." The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits
them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay,
Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?

The Jewish mother replies, "I don't like her."

~+~+~+~+~+~++~+~+~+~+~+~
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like
Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact
that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~++~+~+~

There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In
Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it
graduates from medical school.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess horror movie?
A: It's called Debbie Does Dishes.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Q: What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale's

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came
back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"

"Not too good", says the mother. "I've been very weak."

The son says, "Why are you so weak?"

She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

The man says, "That's terrible! Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"

The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with
food if you should call."

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been
given a part in the school play.

"Wonderful! What part is it?" replies his mother.

The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."

The mother scowls "That's terrible. Go back and tell the teacher that
you want a speaking part."

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?

A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Q - How does a Jewish mother change a light bulb?

A -(Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want I should
bother anybody.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the
street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."

"Force yourself" she replied.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother?

A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Jewish telegram: "Start worrying. Details to follow
======================================================================================

RETIREMENT -- SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT TO ME !!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after falling asleep in the easy chair.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answers: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Share this one with the retirees that you know. I'm sure they can relate to some of them!

AND, If you have not yet retired, look what you have to look forward too ...

That sounds about right!
==================================================================================
The Little Fire Fighter

A fireman is working on one of the engines outside the
station, when he notices a little girl next door in a little
red wagon, with little ladders hanging off the sides and
a garden hose coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a
toy fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by a
dog and cat.

The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure
is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.

"Thanks," the girl says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has
tied the wagon to her dog's collar and the cat's testicles.

"Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell
you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope
around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but
then I wouldn't have a siren."

================================================================================

It Must be Something in the Water!








A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Arlene,
paid a visit to their doctor.

"You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said the husband. "My thingy's
turnin' blue."

"That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you."

The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck's "thingy" really
was blue.

The doctor turns to the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm that I
prescribed for you?"

"Yep, shore am," she replied brightly.

"And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"

"Grape."

==================================================================================

Friday, June 02, 2006

X-Ray Magazine



June issue (#11) of X-Ray Magazine is now online!

The magazine is free
/ complimentary

(published in pdf format)

TRAVEL REPORTS
Marcelo Mammana takes us to Patagonia in his native Argentina. Also we are going to take a look at one of the smaller Canary Islands, El Hierro - contributed by Jerome Hingrat

Leigh Cunningham
"The Wake Up Call". Leigh takes us back to some of his own early learning experiences

Cosmetics for divers:
Sun and saltwater doesn't always do wonders for your skin - unless you protect it. We got six full spreads of feel-good products for you

Photography:
Cameragear in the luggage vs. the weight scale at check-in. Dan Beechham tips us off on getting all our stuff past the stern lady at the airlines counter and onboard and safely to the destination

Ecology
Corals and Global warming.
- Can they survive? How do the adapt?
- Building reefs on the Maldives
- Crossing the Atlantic on a Russian oceanographic vessel.
- Ocean's Conveyor Belt"

Portfolio:
Patrick Chevalier

... and much more more., including
NEWS
New Equipment
New Books and Movies

(98 spreads in all)

To get your FREE copy
of X-Ray Mag #11:

Click here to go to our download-page

Skandalopetra and Kalymnos Island, Greece

Thank you for everything you offer to us in your web pages.

I am practicing in the compression-decompression chamber in Kalymnos island hospital (a 2200 by HAUX, nearly 3 yrs old) where l see some many dysbaric osteonecrosis in old and young professional divers. This facility is helping divers since 1974-75. And of course hyperbaric 02 sessions are a routine for and upon medical indications.

In this site http://www.kalymnos-hotels.com/skandalopetra/ you can see how the traditional sponge "hunting" and "harvesting" was performed..

My job is in Thessaloniki, I am chief for ICU in Agios Demetrios hospital but l thought a six month relocation would be thrilling. And it is. So far.

Always your fan

Sincerely

Alexandros LIOLIOS M.D

ICU-Agios Demetrios hospital
Thessaloniki-Hellas

Temporally located in Hyperbaric Chamber
Kalymnos hospital.
--
Alexandros LIOLIOS M.D
Kalymnos HBO2

Marine and Diving Medicine CME - Hawaii



Joe Alcock writes:

I am organizing a continuing medical education course on dive medicine: Marine and Diving Medicine at Jack's Diving Locker in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii this August. Topics will include marine envenomations, DCI and the significance of patent foramen ovale, hyperbaric medicine updates, tech diving, and a variety of other subjects of interest to members of this forum. Our guest faculty includes Michael Strauss MD, director of the baromedical unit at Long Beach Memorial Hospital and co-author of "Diving Science". We also arranged diving charters and will practice simulated diving accidents and first aid on the dive boat. We expect a small group of attendees - about 25 or so - that will permit hands-on teaching and a more interactive approach than most conferences. CME is provided by the University of New Mexico, up to 24 category 1 AMA credits.
The course weblink is:
http://www.mountainandmarinemedicine.com/Kona2006.html
If this sounds interesting, I invite you to join us!

Joe Alcock
mail@mountainandmarinemedicine.com

Thursday, June 01, 2006

From Larry "Harris" Taylor, PhD (aka Dive Geek)



Divers,

Hope your holiday was (tacky pun here) memorial!

This month's additions, re-appearances, and bunches of updated/re-directs this month to my list of about 8000 links at

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~lpt/links.htm

(the dive only links section of this list is at: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~lpt/mlinks.htm )


Diving

Second Nature: http://www.secondnaturecd.com/

European Karst Plain Project: http://www.ekpp.de/

Ocean Realm Journal : http://www.oceanrealmjournal.com/

NOAA Products & Services: http://tidesandcurrents.noaa.gov/

Atlantis Reef Society: http://www.atlantisreefsociety.com/
Dental Scuba Diving USDDA: http://www.usdda.com/
DGXII: http://ec.europa.eu/research/marine1.html
Midwest-Scuba: http://www.midwest-scuba.com/index.html